Selection of the sermons of Father Ezekiel Oko
Do you love me?
Dear sisters and brothers, in this homily I would like to speak about the question that Jesus asked the apostle Peter three times. It's the question of love. "Simon, son of John, do you love me?" That Jesus asked Peter this question three times is not superfluous, as we might think. By asking this question three times, Jesus emphasizes that being a Christian can only come about through love for God and for people. There is no other way!
But emphasizing the importance of love in His discipleship is not the only reason Jesus repeated this question three times. There are two more important meanings to repeating this question.
The exchange first wants to explain to us what kind of love is meant. We may know from experience that when we promise love or even act out of love, we humans mean different things. We know that people have done terrible things in the name of love, whether it was for love of their God, for their nations, for their religions, for their friends, or even for themselves. For example, some wars and acts of terrorism have been and continue to be in the name led by love. Saint Augustine once wrote that sins are acts and omissions committed out of imperfect love. In other words, love can be perfect or imperfect; it can also have different meanings for different people.
In the repetition of Jesus' question to Peter: "Do you love me?" two different kinds of love can be discerned that we can only find in the original language of the gospel. In the first two questions, the Lord asks Peter for unconditional, all-encompassing, unconditional love – agape. “agapâs-me” was his question. Peter, probably remembering the bitter sadness of infidelity and the drama of his own weakness at the moment of betrayal, answers him: "Lord, I love you" "philô-se". He promised Jesus the love "philia". So he said something like: “I love you with my poor human love; I can't promise you any more."
Only the third time does Jesus himself use the term philia: “Simon, do you love me? (Phileîs-me?)”. He now wants to accept Peter as he is. With this he wanted to encourage Peter that his poor love, the only one he is capable of, is enough at the beginning of the discipleship.
This brings us to the second meaning of repeating this question. The honesty with which Peter answered that! Peter was honest. He didn't want to promise something he couldn't keep. He had already learned a lot from his weakness and didn't want to disappoint Jesus anymore. That's why he just repeated "philô-se" as an answer. But it made him sad that he couldn't give more.
Dear sisters and brothers, what saddens Peter, as the evangelist notes (John 21:17), is not so much the Lord's repeated question, but the realization that he is no longer able to give. That agape can only exist if and because God exists. It is the love that measures up to the love of God, the love of the God who first loved us (1 Jn 4:19) - because He is love (1 Jn 4:8,16).
We, too, often find that we cannot give more when our relationships demand universal love from us, when the stubborn child demands more from us parents than we are currently able to give, when our marriage or even the stranger or an opponent needs more than attractive love. In such situations, our honesty is required first, honesty towards ourselves, but also towards God and towards the other.
Every growth, every change, every transformation starts with honesty. But beyond that, you should also be willing to make progress. But in his honesty in admitting that he could only perform philia, Peter was open and willing to grow in love. Therefore he did not get stuck in the philia. He was able to follow Jesus later with a more perfect love. We find evidence of this in the first reading: in spite of the afflictions, the apostles (Peter among them) testified of their faith. They even rejoiced that they had been worthy of suffering reproach for the name of Jesus. Only when we admit our weakness can we grow in love.
Overview